Christ with Me: vol.1
I’m currently sitting on an airplane on my way to my first recruiting trip (I’ll be posting this after I land). If any of you know my schedule, you know that I will be on a plane 4 times, each going to a new destination, all within the next 7 weeks for recruiting trips and other various swimming events.
This is my first trip, and the first time I have ever been traveling completely on my own. My dad dropped me off and walked along the line as far as he could in security, gave me a hug, and I went on by myself.
I went through security alone. I sat alone in the airport waiting. I could increasingly feel myself getting more and more anxious for the trip. I found a little corner and close my little intro-extro-verted self into a little ball. I boarded my tiny little plane alone, the claustrophobic inside of me beginning to panic. I sat waiting alone.
I have a fear of being alone.
I sat thinking about my family and best friend and began to feel the tears welling in my eyes, a miniature panic attack coming. I felt so alone on this crowded little plane. My shaking hands texted my loved ones “Just boarded, I’ll text you as soon as we land, I love you” and it hit me I was completely alone now, going to go visit a place that could determine much of my life. I closed my eyes attempting to relax a little bit, unsuccessfully. I started doubting myself. If I was this nervous being on a plane alone, what about college? What if the girls at the school don’t like me? What if I’m not enough? What if I just can’t do this?
Time and time again I forget who I am. I am a daughter of the King of the universe. I can do all things through my savior, Jesus. I am NOT alone through this journey, or any journey. Why do I continue to doubt Him?
The plane engine started going, and I began to pray: “Lord, help me get through this. Help me remember that you are with me. Give me wisdom this weekend. Help me to relax.” I just kept repeating that over and over.
When the plane started speeding up, I slowly felt the pit in my stomach go away. When we actually began flying, I felt my worries and anxiousness physically come off of me, and I couldn’t help but smile. The weight on me became nonexistent. I was filled with courage! I genuinely felt Christ sitting beside me in this tiny little plane.
It’s the little moments God reminds me that He is with me that make me feel the closest to Him. I now sit with a new anxiousness inside me- to know his plan for me and to watch it unfold. I can’t wait to see it.